Ahhhh, Jason Voorhees: he's the James Bond of horror, the Batman of terror, the Doctor Who of mongoloid zombie badass serial killing motherfuckers. How can I make this comparison? Well, he has a lot in common with those characters: played by a variety of actors with no explanation (ok, so Doctor Who has an explanation for it's main character's face changing, but it is a fairly loose ruled plot device), the cannon of the characters story is somewhat sketchy and repeatedly adapted for a situation, and the character's actions are mostly shoot/Batarang/sonic screwdriver first, ask questions later. Actually, Ol' Jason doesn't bother with the latter.
|Director: Danny Steinmann
Starring: Melanie Kinnaman, John Shepherd, Shavar Ross, Richard Young, Juliette Cummins
Screenplay: Martin Kitrosser, David Cohen, Danny Steinmann
This review is for my favorite of the Friday the 13th films, and weirdly takes place after the entry in which Jason is killed (by Corey Feldman of all people) and before he is resurrected in the succeeding chapter with a steel post through the chest and a bolt of lightning, a la Frankenstein's monster. So how can this chapter exist without Jason, you may ask?
Well sally forth, dear reader, and all will be revealed... Well, all except for the identity of the killer in this film!
Friday the 13th Part V starts with a cameo from Corey Feldman reprising his role as Tommy Jarvis, watching two idiots digging up the corpse of Jason Voorhees only to find that he still has enough life in him to dispatch them and then turn on him... But it's a dream, and an older Tommy (now played by John Shephard) wakes up is a bus on his way to a hostel that helps kids slowly adapt back into society, and after spending time in various institutions and with his poor anger management and tendencies towards violence, he desperately needs the help!
He arrives, and we meet the miscreants of the hostel, including a pair of root rats, a stuttering no hoper, a New Wave 'dancer', a skinny bitch, a psycho, a fat dumbshit, the therapists who run the whole thing, the cook, and his grandson, Reggie the Reckless.
Pretty soon after Tommy arrives, we see the psycho hack the annoying fat dumbshit to pieces and get taken away by the cops, and someone starts impersonating Jason and killing the residents of the hostel, and anyone else who gets in the way. With Jason dead, though, who could the killer be? Has Tommy finally snapped and gone to the dark side, his obsession with masks being a catalyst? Is one of the other nuts in the nuthouse nuttier than squirrel shit? Or is it someone else who kills for revenge?
To find out, you had better watch, cause I am not being a spoiler!!!
As far as I am concerned, this film is awesome dipped in awesome sauce with a side of awesome fries. It is easily my favourite Friday the 13th film, and a regular in my list of Top Ten horror films. It is a strange bird, it has the same giallo inclinations of the first which completely appeals to my love of that particular sub genre, although guessing the killer is made a little easier by some ridiculous mugging to the camera by the unknown assailant. Another thing I love is the sleaziness of it all, which is natural considering it is brought to you by the director of Savage Streets, Danny Steinmann.
The total pervert in me would like to point out the top notch boobage provided by the aptly named Debisue Vorhees. There are two other boob flashes in the film, but nothing compares to D.V.'s T.Ts.
I also have a great affection for the wild variety of kooky characters in this film. This film doesn't give us the usual teen stereotypes as the potential victims in question are the recovering mental case residents of the aforementioned hostel. These kids are odd enough, but everyone else seems to be strange, from the coke-sniffing horny sanatorium worker to the hillbillies who live next door, everyone is just crazy enough to be a suspect. Add to all of this some absolutely daft characterisations (the two rock n rollers/leather clad gays are a weird example... Death by road flare blowjob being the reward for one of them) and some fantastically odd scripting (the hillbilly Mother calling her son a 'big dildo' is a particular favorite). That's not to say all the characters are comedy rejects, some are actually quite good. John Shepherd plays Tommy Jarvis with an intensity that, dare I say it, may be above the depths in which this film sits.
I couldn't finish without mentioning just some straight out bizarreness in the film. The main highlight would be a special audio appearance by eighties Duran Duran wannabes Pseudo Echo whose song 'His Eyes' is played in the scene where Terri Nunn of Berlin hairdo victim Violet (played by Tiffany Helm) is punished for executing the world's worst 'robot' dance by the Jason impersonator. The runner up to the bizarre crown would be Miguel A. Nunez Jr's (you know, Spider from Return of the Living Dead) serenading his girlfriend while he takes a dump in the most disgusting outhouse you've ever seen. Handy love tip: chicks don't want to be sung to when your back up vocals are provided by your back passage: trust me!
I kid you not when I say this film is watched monthly at the McNamara residence, as I just can't get enough of it.